My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
