Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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