Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
