so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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