I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize