Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This baby is an asshole
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
