"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
