is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
