At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize