So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize