I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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