I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize