perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
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