He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
