Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
