Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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