I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
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That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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