I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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