its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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