All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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