New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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