So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
