You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
