If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
