i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
