Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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