she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
