3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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