its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
