You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
