I want to make a zoo with you.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
