i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
