Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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