Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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