There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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