D3 body, D1 cock
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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