I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
