They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
