I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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