that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My pussy is not your playground.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
