i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize