I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
