I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
