I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
