Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
