So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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