it wasn't lemon gatorade
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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