Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
