I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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