$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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