it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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