I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would ride that face into the sunset
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
