I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
