Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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