tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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