there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
