The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
