I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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