You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
