part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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