If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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